Trade Fears for Cheers this New Year

I know it sounds a little corny but I'm giving it a try. Won't you join me?

Happy New Year!

Cheers!

Whoo-hoo!

Boo-hoo.

Ha-ha-ha-ha!

Waaaaaaaaaah…

I’m not the only one going in with mixed feelings, am I? If you’re like me, I really want that feeling of potential, the sense of possibility that I typically get with a new year. It’s not unlike what I feel with a brand new notebook. Pristine pages! Fresh starts! Let me at it!

But … what if you knew beforehand that the notebook was slated for a hated subject … something you had to slog through … like, *insert whatever-required-subject-that-makes-you-want-to-curl-into-a-ball here*? It dampens enthusiasm somewhat. It’s been a persistent mood of mine lately and one I’m determined to shake off.

Because … dampened mood or not, I’m here—we’re here—to create a picture-book world, in real life. And to go about it (mostly) in good cheer—it is a picture-book world we’re after. The not-so-picture-book world is really gaining steam, so we can’t afford to slog through, sodden and moody. Okay?

(crickets)

Hello?

Okaaaay. Right. It is New Year’s. I’ll make some resolutions. *sigh* Let me grab some paper and a…

Wait. Hold on a sec. Resolutions are tricky.

What? Resolutions are tricky? I thought they were good, like goals.

There’s nothing wrong with resolutions necessarily—we definitely want more resolve around our creative projects. But take a quick second to tune into your Inner Critic at the mention of resolutions. I’ll bet your ol’ roommate is looking downright perky. That is not a good sign. (Read more about that charmer here)

No one knows better than your Inner Critic how much improvement you need in … well, everything. It can’t wait to weigh in. (Speaking of weighing in, you can bet the whittling down of your thighs and tummy is on its agenda). Again, nothing wrong with those pursuits necessarily. But the Inner Critic is not on your side—it is the hench(wo)man of the not-so-picture-book world—and wants you too busy, dissatisfied, nursing your gripes and yeah, obsessed with your body even, but NOT creating a picture-book world.

Now your creative human self— which is, conveniently, YOU, faults and all, but minus all of the inner critic’s shi … err ... shoulds. This is who you want doing the reflecting, the dreaming up of creative projects, the setting of intentions and making of resolutions! It’s kind of your forte, remember? The one with the creative rocket fuel? (Read about your creative rocket fuel here).

But…I see you backing away. This is not your first resolution rodeo, am I right? You’ve probably had a few lasooed by the Inner Critic, and now you have zero interest in providing it with any fresh fodder.

I do not blame you.

And yet, I do feel the need to nudge you … urge you, even … if ever there was a time to swing into creative action, and lots of it, it’s now. Luckily, I have something that might help.

Here it is: how about onboarding an Inner Cheer-er in there? Who says you can’t welcome another inner roomie, and one who is on your side?

Aside: I considered the more conventional Inner “cheerleader” but my daughter was the inspiration for the anecdote I’m about to share, and she was never a cheerleader. And, the cheerleader archetype can conjure some mixed feelings. So Inner Cheer-er it is! Inspired by my daughter Claire! Here she is! Aww.

When Claire was in 4th grade, she joined an AYSO soccer team. She was—how should I put this—not good. In all fairness, joining AYSO soccer for the first time in the 4th grade is considered late here, so she had a lot of catching up to do. Also, we’re not a soccer family, so she really had no clue. And it really showed.

BUT! What she had was an abundance of enthusiasm. She was part of a team and had the purple uniform to prove it. She wasn’t a decorative bystander, either. She’d go to every practice and game, dressed out and giving it her not-very-good all. (Just look at her, ready for action!)

When it was her turn to sit out, she would track her teammates actions from the sidelines, walking up and down and cheering them on– in total earnestness. Admittedly, at first I felt myself cringe a little—did she, of little skills, have the right? Evidently she did because everyone kinda loved it. (Also, she was cheering, not coaching, which I don’t think would have gone over well).

It looked like this:

Claire the Cheer-er: Alright Amanda (or whoever) you’ve got this! (clapping for emphasis) Go for it! You’ve got this! I know you can do it! Give it your all!

If Amanda made it, Claire the Cheer-er would say something like, Great shot! Good work! You’re awesome! I’m proud of you!

If Amanda went for it but didn’t make it, Claire the Cheer-er would, without a hint of recrimination, and still clapping, pivot to: Good try! Next time–we’ll get ‘em next time! You’re awesome! I’m proud of you!

Wow! What if we talked to ourselves like that? Even though I’ve had this memory for a while, it only recently occurred to me. And why not? Wouldn’t we put more creative projects on the desk, then out into the world? Wouldn’t we try new things? If things didn’t go our way, wouldn’t we skip beating ourselves up and just brush ourselves off before starting the next thing?

(crickets)

Okay. I sense resistance. I know, I know. We—all of us—have that persistent negativity bias, which the Inner Critic really milks. It gets all of us. This Inner Cheer-er borders on the bizarre from the lens of the not so picture book world. Especially once we leave childhood. And yes, these days, at 19, even Claire the Cheer-er needs to remember her Inner Claire the Cheer-er. That’s the key, I think: remembering. Over and over, until ta-da! we’ve created a new picture book reality.

What? Still no takers?

I would feel silly.

Excellent! Silliness is A-okay in a picture book world, remember? (I wrote about that here.)

I won’t/ can’t make good work if I’m nice to myself.

Hmm … Who said craft had to go? Also, we’re cheering, not enabling.

I’ll be a blob if I’m not disciplined. I need the Inner Critic to toughen me up.

Newsflash: you are tough. Right here, right now. It’s tough navigating the not-so-picture-book day in and day out. Also, that sounds textbook Inner Critic, so …

Maybe just try it? Try to cheer yourself on? For the sake of the picture book world we’re creating? Come on … I’m going to try it, and silliness loves company. So, let me get it get it started, and you can take it from there, okay?

YOU’VE GOT THIS! GO FOR IT! GIVE IT YOUR ALL! YOU ARE DOING GREAT! WAY TO GO! I’M SO PROUD OF YOU! LOOK AT YOU!

And, Happy New Year! I wish you good CHEER!