Your Creative Rocket Fuel

If the going gets tough, use your creative rocket fuel

I first heard about my rocket fuel, at an SCBWI Conference about 10-ish years ago, from Meg Rosoff, a YA author, who was a keynote speaker. The keynote was SO GOOD –– inspirational, personal to her, and universal to everyone, and packed with metaphors and tips about creativity. But there were a few lines that took me completely by surprise, and I return to them again and again. The lines had to do with accessing my creative rocket fuel. Did you say MY creative rocket fuel??…say more, Meg…

And, here’s what she said, according to my scribbled notes:

“Show your good/ pretty stuff… but when the going gets tough, use your rocket fuel –– your FAULTS.  Treasure your faults –– they are an important kind of truth. Your faults are powerful”.

Here’s the quote from the official SCBWI transcript, which I looked up to verify that I heard that correctly:

“The hard core, the engine, the rocket fuel of your life, it’s your faults. Remember this when you sit down to write. Try looking at all the do’s and don’ts in your life, all the stubborn, angry, unruly parts. Write something you think no one will buy” (Meg Rosoff).

Right??? And, WHAT??? My faults! My first response was, my faults?? What…? Then immediately my face flushed, and …“Oh no, NOT THOSE!!!” I mean, it’s been a life’s work and monumental effort, to HIDE my faults. Better yet, let’s use that rocket fuel to blast my faults into outer space, shall we? Treasure?? my faults??  Scandalous.

Let me also mention here that Meg Rosoff is an acclaimed, and award-winning –– an Astrid Lindgren Memorial Award caliber, award-winning –– author, delivering a keynote speech to her peers, extemporaneously. She’s a force, definitely fueled by powerful rocket fuel. SO. I did NOT toss this off as a scandalous notion. (But the part about writing something no one will buy? As if.)

And, you have to admit, it is an intriguing idea, isn’t it, this faults thing? I know I keep revisiting it. My faults, huh? I mean, I am sitting on a potential treasure trove of rocket fuel, because… faults? I got ‘em.

What about you?

Here’s my theory. Meg’s onto something. And, it’s all me from here on. Well, me and therapy. And depth-y friends. And books. And a bunch of podcasts. Look, I’ve studied up on this in my spare time, because of that treasure trove of faults I told you I’m trying to hide/shoot off into space. I just want you to know that I’ve taken the ball from Meg, and am now telling you what her words mean to me. And what they don’t mean to me, and what on earth this has to do with creating a picture book world.

I DON’T think using your faults means letting craft go, and being fine with slipshod work. I know I have a very lazy part that perks up at any chance to justify shortcuts or avoid the (sometimes) hard work creativity requires. No, we’re not flopping on the couch and claiming that fault as rocket fuel. Well, not always. Not as a rule, anyway.

I also DON’T think your rocket fuel faults are the same as the faults your Inner Critic hisses in your ear, morning, noon and night. Inner Critic is Outer Critic’s hench(wo)men, living in you, and using perfectionism or procrastination (or whatever) to steal your peace and creativity. (ahem: to steal your peace and creativity).

What Inner Critics hisses are your faux-faults, as in, NOT REAL faults, and definitely not creative rocket fuel. Sure, you can create here, but not with rocket fuel. It’s like creating in a pin-ball machine battlefield, with you pinging around on it. You’re using your energy to appease the Inner Critic as it pits you vs unattainable perfectionism. Or flop-on-the-couch procrastination. Always, always it’s pitting you against the baffling, ever-changing, contradictory messages of society, media,  blah blah blah… you know, you vs all THAT. Reminder, these FAUX faults are not real! EXCEPT they are if you’re on that battlefield, in the pin-ball machine.

Let’s take a moment to *sigh*.

Right! Moving on to the GOOD NEWS! That creative ROCKET FUEL!

YOURRRR… FAULTS!

Yay???

Hang on, I think you’ll like this as much as I do:

Under ALL that, all that faux BS, and off the pin-ball machine battlefield, is the rocket fuel Meg Rosoff talks about. It’s in your Actual Human Self! Keeper of your creative rocket fuel. That is, it’s YOU minus faux-faults –– and yes, a real HUMAN. Aww, hello!

What’s that? Your Actual Human Self is frankly kinda pissed off at being buried under and practically snuffled out by the faux BS, and at being labeled a fault, when IT is and always was, the holder of important truths,–– holder of THE rocket fuel?

And, your Actual Human Self, which is also made up of your tender bits, your hurt bits, devastated bits as well as those angry bits, has had it up to here with pinging around with faux faults,…self-inflicted and societal, and doesn’t quite want to share it’s rocket fuel with the likes of you??

Well, give it a chance. Give it time. To breathe, get some fresh air. To stretch! Give your Actual Human Self some refreshments and kindness. Give it some space, and as much as you can.

Woo back your Actual Human Self, the faulty and imperfect holder of rocket fuel, and do it over and over and over. And over. And over. Continually rescue it from the Inner Critic. It could take a while, but every time you do, it’s filling you up with creative rocket fuel. Filling you up with YOU, actually. Your dreamy, creative, worthy, free, still fierce and full of ideas, heroic bits will feel at home again. And you’ll create something REAL, with rocket fuel.

Doesn’t that sound picture book? I know I’m counting on it.