Somewhat Shocking Advice

Ahh, but was it ever helpful...

HELLO! I’m late with this substack entry…looks like I dropped the ball. More on that in a bit.

Hopefully you’ve been happily creating? I ask because happy creating is at the heart of a picture book world, which is what we’re trying to do here.  Creating. Making imperfect progress. And lots of it. (If you need a refresher, click here.)

It’s easy to get stuck, discouraged, even despairing!  That’s because, in a not-so-picture-book world, there’s a lot of this dynamic: go-go-go, more-more-more, faster-faster-faster, etc. etc. etc. – all that MASSIVE ACTION keeps us wound up, bound up and grim. In that world, happy, imperfect progress…sounds … well, silly. Which is a little like the pot calling the kettle black, don’t you think? And… joke’s on them, because in a picture book world, we value silliness! (Read about that here.)

That’s the set up for these pieces of somewhat shocking, but ( *cringe alert* ) life-changing, pieces of advice that really helped me.

Here we go!

1. DON’T BE SUPERMOM

From none other than 3x Caldecott Honor Award winning children’s book creator, my former teacher, and always mentor… Marla Frazee! (click here to swoon.)

Marla gave me this advice when I fired off an email to her asking her HOW DID SHE MAKE BOOKS WHILE RAISING 3 BOYS??? (Yes, she did that – THREE BOYS! ) I was home with my 4 year old twins when I got my first picture book contract, and things were… not going well.

Here’s the gist of her reply:

Don’t be SUPERMOM. It’s not a thing. It’s a myth, even though a lot of people act like it’s not.

A mom who creates books? Doable. A SUPERMOM who creates SUPER-DUPER BOOKS? Good luck.

Also, it will be hard. It was.

Also, it will be worth it. It was. And is.

Also, your kids will like that you’re not up in their grill all the time. Right again!

I finished the book. Then 10 more.

Marla finished many, many books (again, click here to treat yourself to Marla’s work) AND picked up some pretty decent medals and accolades along the way, too. Also, it looks to me like her boys are now fine young men.

THANKS AGAIN, MARLA!

2. THAT AIN’T YOU

This one is great for those times I flirt with compare-and-despair. Ever do that?

And, it really works for me that it comes from the TV therapist and Texan, Dr. Phil, because I can just hear him say it! Can’t you? (If you find him annoying, that might be better for these purposes.)

Oprah was wondering why, for other women such and such was working out, but alas, NOT for her (I know, hard to imagine). As I remember it, she was going on a little bit about it, veering just a tad into a compare-and-despair tone, unable to figure out why the situation wasn’t a cut-and-paste for her.

Oprah: “Why, Dr. Phil?”

Dr. Phil: leaning in, shifting a little, “Well…” he said, “that ain’t you.”

She laughed. She got it.

I got it, too! Ha-ha, when I’m going “there” – sidling up to compare-and-despair – I’m forgetting that everyone has different circumstances, illnesses, privilege, finances, support, struggles, backgrounds etc. etc. – a whole different life, pretty much.

Oh, yeah. Right. Eyes back on my own life.

3. DROP SOME BALLS

THIS one was “dropped” on me by a fully-licensed, professional therapist – not a TV therapist –  so I hope that gives this silly-sounding advice some seriousness (click here for my piece on silliness).

Drop some balls.

Balls? Umm…

You know… the balls you’re juggling – as in obligations, chores, commitments, things on the to-do list…and even…(lean in to hear my whisper) …disappointing people, sometimes.

*gulp* WHY??????

If we’re being honest, and let’s, because we’re trying to create a picture book world here – no one can juggle ALL THE BALLS! At least not without a heavy cost, to YOU, the juggler, who is really just you, the human, despite that cute costume.

And, we need you, happily creating and progressing imperfectly so this picture book world thing can come to life! It’s time, remember? Let’s go!

I’ll bet you, the human, like me, is, really, really trying, but can only take so much, and sometimes, might just have to check out of all that juggling by *insert unhealthy coping mechanism here* , then…(*BIG sigh*)…gets… back… to the… juggling (yawn)…adding another ball… and fine, might as well gimme another… until… yikes…omg…I’m so sorry…oh no…oh boy…here they go… I’m dropping ALL

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the

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balls.

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boing

boing

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boing.

Oof. Might be good to drop some balls.

Or, let ‘em roll on by.